All Posts, poetry, Uncategorized

Panic in class.

I’m okay. Yeah, I’m fine. This is just boring.

I’ll look at my phone for a second.
Even though I’ve been trying really hard to concentrate.

Wow. That’s boring too.

After this class I have to go do errands.

Those errands are related to my new job.

My new job has a lot of steps to start.
My new job is going to be very new.
Very new things scare me.
Scary things scare me.
Jobs aren’t a scary thing so why is it scary?
There’s no reason to be scared.
Why are you shaking?
What if I can’t do it?
It’s not that I can’t do it, what if I fail?
What if I miss something?
What if I don’t like it?

I’m shaking.
Stop shaking.
It’s not even cold.
I’m wearing a jacket.
It’s not cold.
STOP SHIVERING!

The crazy part is
I feel like I’ve been hit by a train
I feel like someone drugged me
I feel like I want to pass out

Yet

The girl who sits next to me has no idea
She has simply no idea.
I just look bored and zoned out
Shaking out of boredom
Little does she know I’m thinking about how to end this
How to end my life
How to end this panic
This panic in class.

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