All Posts, poetry, Uncategorized

Valentine’s Day

For the first time in my life,

I am not single today.

For the millionth time in my life,

it sure feels like I am.

 

Is it truly so hard to find a matching schema?

Does nobody care to reciprocate?

 

I tell myself: “no one will ever treat you special”.

I ask “why?”

I tell myself: “because you aren’t special enough”.

 

The ones who reciprocate are crazy

and the ones who don’t

are the loveliest.

 

Is it so hard to find a matching schema?

Does nobody care to reciprocate?

 

I think about them almost every minute of the day.

Do they even think about me in that way?

I want to be wanted.

I want to feel wanted.

I want to not have tear marks on my face

on this day.

 

I think to myself: “there has to be someone out there”.

Then, I think to myself: “except, you’re not special enough”.

 

I think to myself: “you deserve more”.

Then, I think: “you’re being selfish”.

Because having one thing,

yearning for more,

then scolding

yourself

for

wanting

more

is an inescapable cycle.

 

So, on this fourteenth of February,

I will be grateful for

finally

not being alone

and then

accepting

the fact

that

I feel

exceptionally

alone.

 

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